she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
