Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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