in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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