After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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