She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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