It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
