'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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