i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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