Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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