New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
