I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
