Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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