Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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