it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
