they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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