remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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