I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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