I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
