you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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