He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
