like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
