I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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