everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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