I'm gonna have a badass scar
wanna go halves on a baby?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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