how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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