i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
