worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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