Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
