yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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