i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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