Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
