I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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