i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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