Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
