he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
