she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
