Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
either way he was missing a nipple.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
