Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
