how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
