Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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