Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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