I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
