please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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