its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
