He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
