We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
