i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
