I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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