I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
