i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
