I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
